Lately I have really been getting large doses of perspective on lots of things. Living where I do, and with the people I am with, I have been learning and growing like you wouldn't believe! It is almost like a personal kind of mission... I guess all missions are personal... but you know what I mean? My patience is continually tried... I have been becoming much more patient with a lot of things. I guess it has always been one thing when my little sister was doing something... but it is a completely different thing when it is someone you are supposed to be taking care of. It has made me realize how much kids watch what you say and do. I also have been getting a very different perspective on what is going on in our country, and, quite frankly, it scares me. I am not sure what I am going to do... I feel like I am stuck in this spot in my life where I am going to be made or broken- in more ways than one. I am in a spot where I am trying to establish myself in the world a little bit, but I haven't the slightest clue where to start... I almost feel like I am having to make decisions that I am not ready to make. How am I supposed to know what I want to do as a career? I think I know one second, and then I change my mind again. But I suppose that is one of the reasons I am taking time off from school. I do feel like I am where I need to be right now though. I am incredibly grateful for that reassurance. Being here I also figured would make or break my testimony... boy I will tell you, it has made my testimony grow! I don't know that I have had such a thirst for the gospel before now... it is amazing what a few changes in your daily habits can do!
I love you all and I am grateful for you all in my life!
2 comments:
perspective... i think we both have been getting that... but you're so much braver than i am to actually write about it on your blog! i'm sticking with my journal... life, it's amazingly frustrating isn't it? when you're little and when you're in high school, you think that once you're an adult and out in the real world you'll be rid of that trapped feeling that you have, the one that makes you feel like you can't do anything without breaking some rule or stepping on someone's toes... but it isn't gone! maybe it's just that i'm living at home, but probably not. some days, i just want to leave. get in my car and drive somewhere, anywhere. or buy a plane ticket to europe and go and not look back. but there it is again, that horrible thing called responsibility. and of course, i hate school this semester, so that makes it even worse... and listening to different books and things, i keep hearing that we're supposed to enjoy life in the moment, and not spend it wishing for something better to happen... but it's sooo hard! i keep finding myself wishing that the semester will just end. i'm anxiously awaiting that end... when i should be enjoying the time i have and the opportunity i have to learn... and even if i fail my classes, i'll at least have learned something right? you did didn't you? did you have that wishing for the end feeling while you were at school? ick. you know, i feel sort of like we haven't talked in a while. i mean, we talk every night, but lately it's been a lot of greys, and whatnot. just sitting listening to each other do our own thing. which is nice, it's nice that we can do that, and just enjoy the fact that we're not alone, but i think tonight we should skip the computer stuff and just talk.
wow that's a long comment. sorry if i talk way way way too much about myself.
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